I guess it's a trade-off. On the one hand, I've been going to the gym pretty regularly lately (except for the last few days - we've been moving my mom into her new apartment) and feel better than I've felt in years. On the other hand, my up-close vision has sunk to abysmal levels.
At my last eye exam, my optometrist (who looks like he's about 25) shook his head and told me, "Well, you're 45 years old...that's about the time these things start to happen." (Start to happen? What's next? Those beige orthopedic shoes? Cardigan sweaters?) He suggested I try some reading glasses so I picked up a three-pack at Costco. They work great and I figured, "Hey, a three-pack is cool. I'll NEVER run out." (Plus I'll look all distinguished, especially with the gray hair and all...)
I often have moments of great stupidity. This was one of them. I can never find the blasted things anywhere. I've left them in the drawer of my nightstand, in my bookbag, in the bathroom drawer where I keep the bandaids (figure that one), you name it. I don't think I've left a pair in the refrigerator, but I wouldn't be surprised to find something clunking around inside the orange juice container one day.
I just can't keep up with them. I tried putting them in hardshell cases (like they were real glasses) and I lose those too. I look for and at books all day long and sometimes need to whip out the ol' reading specs, so I tried keeping a pair in my shirt pocket. No good. They fall go boom. Same for the pants pockets. They come out looking like some metal and glass modern art project.
I guess there's only one way to solve my dilemma, but I won't do it, I just won't. I REFUSE to wear one of those little chains or bands or shoestrings or whatever those things are that crusty old guys use to keep their glasses around their necks. (At least my glasses are full-sized and not those little skinny glasses that look like the top half got chopped off.) So forget it! I'll manage somehow.
Hey Cindy --- would you hand me the orange juice?
4 comments:
And in the mid-40s if you wear glasses, it's "time for bifocals." My regular doctor actually laughed when he asked how I'd been the year I got multifocals and I told him what my eye doctor said.
Dr. Phil
You don't need a chain around your neck. That's why you wear a tweed jacket everywhere: so you can put your reading glasses in the outside breast pocket, with one of the ear pieces sticking out. Didn't you have any theory professors like that in college? Oh, wait...they were the guys in camel-hair coats with the black turtlenecks. Right. But they put pockets on camel-hair coats, too. So you'd be okay either way.
I'm afraid I was subjected to both the tweed jacket crowd and the camel-hair coat community. I guess I could do that...and walk around spelling dominant sevenths chords in every key and quoting passages from the Paul Hindemith book (in German, of course).
Hindemith, Shmindemith. Go all out: Schenker.
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