I knew I made the right decision dumping the Cowboys. Now they've signed former Colts kicker Mike Vanderjagt, who not only stabs his teammates in the back on camera (although he's not as practiced at it as T.O.), but also provided one of the biggest playoff chokes of the last several years a few months back. He'll fit right in with T.O. (Totally Offensive). Way to go, Jerry. Integrity does count for something. Maybe one day you'll figure that out, then again maybe not. As Dylan said, "Something is happening, but you don't know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?" I never thought Bob was talking about this Mr. Jones, but it appears the Jokerman is prophetic once again.
So...who should be my new team?
After 30 years of rooting against them, it sure would be hard to pull for any of the other NFC East teams. I just can't see it happening, especially not with the Redskins. I guess the closest I could come to pulling for anybody in that division would be the Eagles. At least they had the integrity to tell T.O. where to go.
Let's look at the rest of the league, AFC first:
The Ravens are probably the most obvious choice: they're in my own back yard. (Although front yard would probably be more accurate.)
There's really nobody offensive in the AFC, other than Jacksonville's coach. I could probably be persuaded to consider any other AFC team.
The NFC? I hate the Carolina Panther's colors and especially their 80's end-zone design. Yuck.
Sorry, won't ever like the 49ers. Too much baggage from "The Catch," I guess.
Arizona Cardinals? That organization is a mess. It's not Dennis Green's fault, it's higher up.
Atlanta? Too much black in the uniform. Although how cool is it to have a guy named Alge Crumpler on the team?
Chicago? Maybe. One of my favorite cities, that's for sure. (As long as I'm not walking down Michigan Avenue in January.)
Detroit? Always wanted them to win, but it never happened much.
Green Bay? Fun to watch, even with an aging Favre.
Saints? Watched them too much growing up in Mississippi, although I don't have the paper bags to prove it.
Seattle? Still can't get used to them being in the NFC now. Plus you never get to see their games unless you're on the West Coast.
St. Louis? Too many weird and wacky things going on there. It must be like a David Lynch movie in that locker room.
Tampa Bay? They just don't do it for me. Can't explain why. At least they don't have the goofy buccaneer that looked like Slim Whitman on their helmets anymore.
Okay, I've got a few months to decide. Let's hear your suggestions.
10 comments:
Andy, allow me to put my twopence in on behalf of the Bengals.
1. Chad Johnson--T.O.'s skills and T.O.'s mouth but none of the drama.
2. The best helmet (and endzone) in the NFL.
3. Cincinnati seems to have its act together at last. They let go of their best player two (?) seasons ago (Cory Dillon) because he insisted on being the whole show. (Granted he was tired of losing all the time, but he also had a pitiful attitude for someone making several million a year.)
4. No team (except maybe the Saints) can use more new fans than the Bengals.
5. You get to hate the Browns AND the Steelers--and the 49ers and Montana for Super Bowl XXIII.
All good arguments, John. Plus a high school buddy of mine had an uncle that played for the Bengals in the mid-70's. (I think he kept the bench warm throughout most of his career.)
I actually liked the Browns waaaaaaaay back when Brian Sipe was their quarterback and even considered driving from Mississippi to Ohio for a game one time.
Okay, that's one vote for the Bengals...who's next?
Also a good argument. (Man, you guys are making it tough.) I really admire Lombardi -- at one time I owned four biographies of him -- and, as corny as it sounds, I still recognize his influence on that team. It's hard not to like The Pack.
If it weren't for The Betrayal Of Baltimore, there's something to be said for the Indianapolis Colts.
I grew up near the Buffalo Bills, but no one cared about the NFL in my hometown then, but the stadium in Orchard Park NY is dug down into the ground, rather than raised up, which is rather cool.
I have a college buddy from New Hampshire you has been a raving Patriots fan for a long time.
Da Bears and The Pack are, despite pesky things like records, two of the best rivals in sports. In college, we marveled at the waste of Walter Payton at the hands of Bumbling Bob Avalini. In grad school in the U.P. of Michigan, we got two Green Bay TV stations on our cable, so watched a lot of Packer games as they came into their own for a strong decade. Gotta admire the Packer fans and stamina. Indoor football? Fah!
No-oooo! NOT the Lions!
Dr. Phil
Ga-ack! Typos abound!
I have a college buddy from New Hampshire _WHO_ has been a raving Patriots fan for a long time.
Another thing about the Bears and the Packers -- they haven't done anything stupid with their uniforms in recent years. (See Denver...)
Dr. Phil
Yeah, but have you seen what the Bears did to Soldier Field? It looks like the Battlestar Galactica landed inside an ancient Greek amphitheater.
One more reason for Cincinnati:
Quarterback Carson Palmer, who you may recall was knocked out of the Bengals playoff against the Steelers on the second play of the game, says he was "pissed" that the Steelers won the Super Bowl and cheered for the Seachickens to beat them.
Nothing like a little honest you-suck-go-die rivalry to heighten the interest.
I wasn't going to mention the outward appearance of Soldier Mothership. I personally think the owners told the designers, "We're pissed they want us to retain the old facade, so dominate and hide the old classical exterior with something really inappropriate, then wow 'em with a real great interior. Yeah, that'll teach 'em to tell us what to do...", forgetting all the time about the concept of public money.
But I figured that Andy wanted a team, not a stadium, seeing as you've been faithful to a domed stadium with a giant hole in the roof all these years. (grin)
Dr. Phil
The Mets...
:D
I guess I'd better pick a team soon. I'm getting rid of the only two caps I own, both Cowboys caps. I'm bound to have a bad hair day soon.
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