Cindy always asks me about this time of year, "Well, what do you want for your birthday?" (which is next week). My first response is usually "How about books?" to which she lifts her eyes to the heavens and mutters things I'd probably rather not hear. Then I'll usually say, "Okay, how about a big cake? Like a whole sheet!" as I spread my arms out as far as they'll go. Before the words are even out of my mouth, her head's shaking, about to deliver the "You don't need a big cake," lecture, which is true, but hey, it is my birthday and she did ask.
But this year, I think I know what I want. I'm ashamed to admit that I've never been to the AFI Silver Theatre in Silver Spring, MD, which is less than an hour away from where I live, but I'd like to change that this year, especially since the new David Lynch film INLAND EMPIRE starts there in a few days. (Lynch says he wants this film title to appear published in all caps. Hey David! How about this: inland empire, inland empire, inland empire, inland empireinlandempireinlandempireinlandempireinlandempireinlandempire...)
I could kick myself for not checking the AFI schedule sooner, since Lynch himself is going to be appearing at AFI on Jan. 14, but the event is sold out. You think if I just stood around with a big sign with INLAND EMPIRE in like a 1500 font, he'd let me sneak in? How about if I could make my hair do that Eraserhead thing? That's what it usually looks like in the mornings anyway.
I'd love to see the movie with Cindy, but I don't know if she's ready for the weirdness that is Lynch, to say nothing of three hours of it. She'll probably want me to go anyway, since this movie is all I've been talking about for months and she just wants me to have a great time on my birthday. (She's cool like that.) If I go, it'll be the first Lynch film I've ever seen in a theatre. I might leave the theatre so freaked out I won't be able to find the car. (Of course these days that happens no matter what I've seen.) I might be so out of control I wind up at some place like The Cheesecake Factory or something, ordering a triple German Chocolate. With Lynch, you just never know. Even if you did know, would you know that you knew? And how would you know?
Ya know?
3 comments:
Now, now, let's not taunt David Lynch. INLAND EMPIRE (or, rather, Inland Empire) sounds very interesting, although I am not certain I have the patience for it without a pause button. Good luck.
Maybe if you spelled INLAND EMPIRE in 1500 font on a sheet cake...
You're right, Evacuee...Lynch might give me even more nightmares if I push his buttons.
John, I laughed so hard I almost spewed my coffee!
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